Our beliefs are everything. They color the lens through which we perceive the world, situations, our lives, etc. and often times we don’t know where they came from or what they are. Beliefs aren’t always obvious since we perceive them as facts and, since what we believe literally creates our realities (yes, really), they will always play out to be true… for you.
I started noticing what beliefs I had that I took as facts when I started dating my husband. He did things differently to me and 100% of the time, I thought he was wrong or strange for how he did things, never stopping to think that I was either wrong or there was just a lot of different ways to do things, and he was really good at challenging my beliefs.
When I would say he couldn’t do something a certain way, he would question me, earnestly asking what the reason was for why he shouldn’t be doing something, and most of the time I didn’t have a valid answer. It was just,
“Because you can’t.”
“But why?” he’d ask me and I realized I didn’t know.
It was just something I had accepted as fact since it was something I’d been taught growing up. However my parents did things, whatever their beliefs were, those were what I took as fact. I didn’t question my parents ever. It was things as simple as ‘You can’t put food in the oven to heat up before it’s reached it’s temperature’ to ‘There is only one God and you cannot question the Bible’.
I’ve spent the better part of the last 2 years questioning everything I ever thought I knew about my faith, the universe and God, and I put almost everything in the oven before it’s reached it’s temperature, except when baking becuz there is a valid reason for that one.
Learning my deep seated beliefs by which I lived my life continued as I began challenging diet culture and all of the ‘facts’ it had ingrained in me since I was a child. Facts like certain foods were healthier than others (false), certain foods caused diseases while others cured it (false), fat is bad (also false and incredibly harmful), lots of exercise is good (arguably false), olive oil shouldn’t be heated because it’ll turn rancid and cause cancer (recently proven false) and the list goes on.
You don’t realize how many things you have chosen to believe/take as facts until you start to unravel them all.
Things I’ve learned to be true for me now, that completely opposes my entire upbringing are:
Women need to eat a lot more food that we’re told we need. We can, in fact, trust our bodies to tell us what we need and we absolutely should honor it.
Women are badasses. Our hormonal cycles do not make us ‘crazy’ or irrational. We are strong. We create human beings. We have so, so much to contribute to the world and allowing ourselves to ebb and flow with our cycles helps us accomplish more, not less.
There is literally nothing, nothing wrong with being fat* I am using fat as a descriptor, as it is used in the fat acceptance/body positive community, not as a negative. Being fat is not damaging to your health.
Rest is more than necessary. More exercise is not better.
There’s nothing wrong with processed food. No food is going to make you ill or cure you. Stressing over your food probably will though.
And the list literally goes on and on and on.
What I’ve also learned is how to form my beliefs. While I’m a believer that what is true for one person may not be true for the next, I’ve chosen to form my beliefs based on what feels peaceful. What feels right in my soul. I trust my intuition to lead me where I need to go, and I decided that for me, and my life, in all things, I would choose peace.
My questions for you are,
What do you believe about weight that is probably false?
What do you believe about feeding your body that is also probably false?
What do you believe about your career, education, people, life in general that’s possibly holding you back or, again, is probably false?
Also, are your beliefs bringing you peace? Or more stress?
I’d love to know!
Disclaimer: I am not a therapist or medical professional. This is not meant to diagnose, treat or cure any illnesses and should not be seen as a substitute for professional help. I share my experiences here in hopes of helping others, but I absolutely encourage you to seek professional help for your struggles.