I took a serious step back from the blog a few months ago and it was probably one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. For a long time I, along with a lot of other blogger friends I have, have felt really over the blogging world. Mostly because it’s become all about ‘keeping up with the Jones’s’ and I’m not in to that.
I have a real life business (outside of the interwebs) that keeps me busy 3 days a week and the blog, for a long time, was keeping me busy the other 2. A few months ago I started meditating (using Headspace. Not sponsored, just what I used) and I found the spiritual side of yoga. Tuning in to my body on such a regular basis through meditation wound up bleeding in to the rest of my life when I wasn’t meditating. I became more aware of how my body and mind were feeling, if they were at odds with each other or if they were in sync. I started to become acutely aware of the tension I held in my body nearly 24/7 and I was able to notice how certain things affected my body.
Over time, I noticed things like the fact that I actually hate coffee and it makes me feel crazy. My body does not like coffee so I stopped. Immediately I felt 1000% calmer in my daily life and I was able to tune in to my body a lot more easily and I clearly saw how alcohol affected my mind body connection. For me, alcohol took me out of my body. It numbed me away from what my body was trying to communicate to me and I didn’t like it, so I stopped.
I started paying more attention to my cycle, and I noticed that while I LOVE HIIT exercises, and loved doing it 3-5 days a week, my hormones do not. They become out of balance when I exercise intensely, so I stopped.
I noticed that instagram, social media, and the blog world in general, have a really sneaky way of making me feel like shit about myself or making me feel like I’m not enough or not doing enough. I didn’t like the feeling like there were all of these ‘shoulds’ I wasn’t doing. So I deleted social media from my phone and I stopped blogging. Through that I was able to tune in better to what resonated with me. What brought me joy and peace, not so-and-so on insta.
I noticed that I’m highly influenced by what I surround myself with, so I became incredibly choosy about what I exposed myself to on a daily basis. I took a look at my podcast list, the books I read, the people I surround myself with and the things I expose myself to on the internet, and I very intentionally decided what I would keep in my world, and what I would release.
I noticed when I felt like returning to all of those coping mechanisms I used to default to, that there was something deeper going on that required my attention. A signal from my body that my mind used to want to tune out. I acknowledged that there was something off balance, and instead of tuning out, I tuned in.
When I feel overwhelmed, often it feels good to cry it out. So I make myself start crying, and often times the crying becomes harder and completely out of control and it’s exactly what I need. I release my tensions and emotions instead of numbing them. Sometimes it feels better to just hangout with my husband or friends/family. Sometimes I need a hug. Sometimes I need to go for a walk. Sometimes I need to pray. Always, I need to face what I’m feeling, accept it, and feel it deeply, no matter what it is.
Over the past few months I’ve experienced more peace, joy, love and lust for life than I possibly ever have, and I want to share that with you.
I will start blogging again, when it feels right and how it feels right, but this is the place I’m currently in, and it’s a good place.